Our style of attachment affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress to, sadly, how they end.
That is why recognizing our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.
Or perhaps you’ve dated someone who got upset that you didn’t give her enough attention and so she punished you by ignoring you, or broke up with you as a reaction to her feeling unloved.
If this sounds familiar, chances are, you’ve dated someone with an anxious attachment style.
When in a fight, they’re instinctive reaction is to think that the relationship is over. It’s extremely important to build trust with anxious types, who are used to being let down or disappointed.
Their heightened alert system will make them think you’re going to leave them, so they will prepare for rejection and may even try to break up with you first. Since anxious types are more sensitive to cues, they pay more attention to the things you say and will remember the promises you make.
They have a unique ability to sense when their relationship is being threatened.
They have a tendency to think worst-case scenario because unconsciously, they deeply fear rejection and abandonment.
He or she then chooses someone who is more possessive or overly demanding of attention.
They have an inherent fear of rejection and abandonment.
Even a slight hint that something is wrong will activate their attachment system, and once activated they are unable to calm down until they get a clear indication from their partner that the relationship is safe.
There are three primary attachment styles: secure, avoidant and anxious.
People with an anxious attachment style crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationship, and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.