I tried everything from tindr, to Jswipe, to grindr, to every other word that is missing an “e” in it.
I made lots of matches, talked to lots of “interesting” men, and even went on a fair number of first dates.
Additionally, I know my experiment might sound extreme, but I needed something extreme to happen for me to really give it up once and for all. I Was Bored If you’ve ever been on any of these apps, gay or straight, you know that most of your hunting, swiping and searching is done when you are bored.I hated the game and playing only made me like myself less and less.6.I Wasn’t Honoring My Truth Going off the idea that these things are a game with rules, I quickly found myself changing who I was to best “win” at the game. I was playing up certain parts of myself, and playing down other characteristics, all so I could be more “desirable.”I became who I thought I was supposed to be, not who I was.One of the hardest things to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself because there usually is a lot of sadness, confusion and disappointment.However, when you finally admit this to yourself, you take the first step to changing all of that.8.I know personally, I looked at everything: from what you said on your profile, to how you said it, to what pictures you picked to best represent you with not just a little bit of judgment, but a lot.There was no energy, no butterflies, no eyes from across the room to say, “Hey, wait there’s something special about this one, and we can’t put our fingers on it.”It was all brain, and no heart in who I decided to virtually flirt with.I Don’t Like Games And that’s exactly what all these things are, games.While none of these apps call themselves games, it doesn’t take much effort to realize that that is exactly what they are.Video games, if you will, where you become the player, and everyone else is the game.There are rules, directions, and even moments asking if you’d like to chat, or “keep playing.”They say don’t hate the player, hate the game, and that is exactly what ended up happening for me.