He believes it’s rude of guests to leave early; I believe it’s rude of the hosts not to respect busy working lives, having to get up early in the morning, etc.
And if you have to make your excuses, what counts as a good excuse?
Even so, it’s still something she brings up perhaps every couple of weeks (usually at the start of the weekend) – and I have to admit that, having gone over the same ground for more than two years, my reaction is often to refuse to talk about it (simply because the more we talk about it the more convinced she seems that I’m not telling her the truth).Each time I think that she has put it behind her she has another outburst – her reason usually being that I’m being too attentive. P, via email Dear P No marriage is easy, but after 27 years together how frustrating that the hurdle you face is a paranoid fantasy. I don’t normally recommend marriage counselling but in your case I think it might be helpful to talk to a third party who can untangle this strange emotional knot.I suspect your wife had some sort of expectation of what life was going to be like when your children left home and when that didn’t materialise, she started looking for reasons. I don’t imagine it is of much comfort, but I feel I should remind you that you didn’t have an affair and you do love your wife.My husband used to go to church every Sunday but suddenly he stopped going.He used to read religious commentaries every night and keep various books on religion by his bedside – but he has taken to reading books on war instead.Briony, Kent Dear Briony Of course you and your husband both have a point.Breaking up the party is never good but then being exhausted at work all day is pretty grim also.Margaret, via email Dear Margaret Obviously when any letter begins with “a friend of mine” small alarm bells do ring, but no matter, here is my advice.Your friend needs to figure out who she is suffering for.At around the time that he stopped going to church he started to delete all his emails and text messages and never leaves his phone lying around any more. Your husband changes his core beliefs and rather than talking about it you want to install CCTV?I am not a suspicious person as a rule, but this is definitely odd behaviour, and I am beginning to think that he may have a girlfriend – or a boyfriend – and that has caused him to change his habits so dramatically. Dear Beth I like to think of myself as a fairly sympathetic soul and I felt for you as I read about your problem until I got to your reason for writing. I am constantly astonished at how people in the most intimate of relationships can’t broach the most basic of subjects.