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It’s especially effective if your fists are clenched while you’re spinning. Tyrese does this in 2002’s “How You Gonna Act Like That,” which is a Hall of Fame–caliber sad R&B video.

The best part in it is when he comes home to find that his girlfriend, who he’d bought a car for and purchased a house with, has moved out.

You can either be in there just wearing your clothes and letting the shower spray all on you like Tyrese was in 1998’s “Lately,” or you can be in there in a towel crying to yourself like Toni Braxton was in 1996’s “Un-Break My Heart.” The one thing you cannot be, though, is naked.

(A sidebar: If you listen to the lyrics of “Un-Break My Heart,” it sounds a lot like Braxton’s significant other walked out on her.

(Bonus: Aaliyah sang on her knees IN THE RAIN in 1997’s “The One I Gave My Heart To” if you’re looking for someone to contend with Tyrese for this particular championship belt.) See a premonition of the person you used to date. The most interesting version of it is when it happens in reverse; typically, a camera will zoom in on a picture of the twosome when they were a couple and then one of the people will vanish in the picture.

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Furthermore, they climb on top of it and then sing some more. You know what’s sadder than clutching one of your fists near your chest while you sing? Clutch both of your fists near your chest while you sing. (Semi-related: I hope that one day we find out there are actual aliens and those aliens have three arms and when they sing their alien R&B [which probably sounds a lot like what the Weeknd does] they clutch all three of their alien fists near their alien chests.) Sit by a piano.

One of the very best examples of someone sulking around in an empty mansion is when Sisqo does it in 2000’s “Incomplete.” For just about the entirety of the video, he looks very crushed and very broken, I’ll admit that.

But there’s a part in it where, just because he’s bored, he goes outside and bottle-feeds a white tiger.

Carl Thomas was the best at sitting by a piano when he did so in 2000’s “I Wish” because he actually played.

Usher, however, made the most use out of a piano in 2004’s “Confessions, Pt.


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