But if I am, indeed, surviving the experience, perhaps I can share with you some of the knowledge I have so painfully gained over what has been more than half a decade of tears, hormones, and stress fractures.
If you've had a baby, or are engaged in breeding, I will tell you what you have to look forward to.
Fathers may suspect it's not easy for their daughters to become women, but those same daughters have no idea how hard it is for fathers to stand by and watch. Bruce Cameron, "Having a child mutate into a teenager is a bit like being an airline passenger who must suddenly take over for a stricken pilot and land the plane.In 1995, he started an on-line Internet column, which became successful.He showed his columns to the Rocky Mountain News and in 1998 they began featuring him weekly in their Home Front section.), teen "logic" ("I asked if I could go out with Lindsey and you said no, so I went out with Courtney"), and, of course, dating, which leads to the 8 Simple Rules. Wonderful oneliners as "In my opinion a daughter's underwear has the same purpose as the police: to preserve and protect" And about underwear...(Rule #1: if you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.) If your little girl has moved out and a teenager has taken her place, this book will help you do something you probably thought was not possible in your situation: laugh. Thong underwear is about as sensible as wearing a slingshot"W.Just because your blood pressure is so high you swear other people can hear it doesn't mean you're suffering from teenager-your daughter might be a "preteen," which is sort of like having a tornado before a hurricane hits.Here's a checklist that you can use to confirm your worst fears.If it's been about a dozen birthdays since you brought home that darling little bundle of girl baby, I am willing to explain the skills and tactics you will need to make it through the next eight years with a minimum of trauma.Having a child mutate into a teenager is a bit like being an airline passenger who must suddenly takeover for a stricken pilot and land the plane. With a book like this-an "owner's manual," if you will-you may learn enough to make it to the airport safely.Follow the advice contained in this book and remain focused on your goal, which is to get the teenagers moved out of the house before they breed and the whole cycle begins again.(Some sociologists decry the loss of the "generational home," where grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren all live under the same roof.