At long last the secret of ratcheting up intimacy is revealed! Perhaps my brain is starved of oxygen or else the feeling of hypoxia is a testament to the efficiency of this method. You don't really believe your interlocutor is going to stop after 36, do you? I really don't feel that this list of questions would necessarily make me feel good about the other person or feel closer to them. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be? If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? One or two questions per get together should work, more if I'm really interested in developing an intimate relationship with the man. Having that insight would allow trust to be initiated and built upon and lead to quicker and more self exposure.
Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says. It takes only 45 minutes and 36 questions to outwit mother nature! If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose? But the questions are designed to override evolution, the unconscious influence of pheremones and the complementary immune responses of compatible couples--not to mention involuntary physical attraction and repulsion. Someone who asks in a way I feel is invasive, demanding or not-listening still would not make me feel closer--again, whether it's this list of questions or any other. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. It would depend on how the questions were asked and how our discussion of them went--if they ask in a genuinely interested, open-to-listening way, I'd feel closer, but I'd feel closer if they asked any questions in that way. I'm probably revealing a lot about my own insecurities through my reactions here :) Which in itself is interesting for me. We did get about halfway through the questions and it was very helpful. Each time I go on a date with my bf, I'm going to pick one and keep it in mind. I guess the answer to that question depends a lot on the reasons behind what you describe as his reticence.You can also try them with people you already know well—friends, family members, even long-term partners—to deepen your ties. I plan on printing two copies of this out and pulling it out on my wife and I's next date night.Each of you should take a turn answering each question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? We've been together 26 years and I welcome (and even need) to have the chance to connect with her on new levels. I think that questions like these can make our time together much more interesting and memorable, and people don't always have great conversational skills these days to rely on. The questions will be useful as I restart my social life after a 25 year hiatus. How a person answers these questions would provide a shortcut to knowing a bit about their personal morals and motives which would either, implicitly, quickly put up walls or take them down. But it took us much longer than 45 minutes, which is why we only got halfway. However, he is very willing to push himself to open up. If we have a lull and I want to stir the pot, I'll start a discussion around it. Like one of the previous writers I just came across it and plan to print it.