We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there." I am not a kid anymore I am 66. I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.
In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age.
Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special? I was very fortunate to find a lady who had also been widowed who lived 40 miles from me.
I tried really honest profiles and very silly ones. It’s funny, though; just like in real life, you often know right away when something is going to click with a match, even online.Especially because I was so conscious of behaving exactly in the opposite way towards the new person. I had very few current pictures of myself because my role as “mom” meant that I was always the photographer, so I wound up cropping a photo of myself standing beside my grandmother holding my infant son.I learned that dating men who had never been married or didn’t have kids didn’t really work for me. Someone who has no experience in that area doesn’t fully understand the implications that come along with being a lone parent. Not exactly the sexiest shot in the world, you know?In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit.Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.Mentioning it in emails leading up to the date is actually the easiest way of dealing with it.My date has time to process it without me having to see the stricken look on his face when I mention it over hors d’oeuvres.Most of my dates have been incredibly respectful around the issue, actually.What has been the biggest challenge for you as a widow who’s dating again?Probably convincing myself that I was still worthy of dating at all.I had fallen into that married rut: still wearing my breast-feeding nightie to bed (my son was two at the time), buying my undies at Safeway, mom jeans, haircuts at Supercuts, etc. I will never allow myself to slide into complacency in whatever future relationship I find myself in.