If they tell you a slightly embarrassing story, guess what you should do? If someone writes to you “Hey, I like that picture of you in Tulum! People are just testing the water with their first emails. There is no correlation between bad spelling or grammar and intelligence. Keep your homonyms straight (your, you’re) and your possessives minimal (it’s, its).I know you use internet slang and text language to your friends, but this is not your friend.While both men and women do this, I find the ladies do it a bit more.It makes sense as women are usually more communicative than guys. Learn about each other in person instead of scrolling through their posts.This is someone you’re, well, hoping to sleep with or be in a relationship with. Re-read your messages once before you send them to make sure there are no glaring mistakes.You’re looking for a potential mate, not a pen pal.I think three back-and-forths (six total emails) is the sweet spot before exchanging numbers or setting up a date, but I’ll allow four for those nervous types. You want to find out sooner rather than later if this person does or does not mesh with you, so get out there and meet them.Also, many people are using online dating as a form of entertainment.
Listen, I have no problem if you want to add 1 inch or subtract five pounds. But, if the profiles I read are any indication, EVERYONE seems to be “a world-class traveler who’s happy chilling at home on a Friday or hitting the town, loves to explore ethnic restaurants, and enjoys outside activities like hiking, kayaking, or biking.” And then when you go on a date, they’d rather Netflix and chill, or they enjoy sleeping in on a Saturday and lounging around eating pizza. It’s just that you don’t want to misrepresent yourself.I know this election, in particular, has been extremely divisive, but this is not the time to start sharing your opinions on politics or any other possibly fiery topics. We just avoid those topics because we are adults and enjoy our friendship. The woman you’re talking to is a human being, not an object. I know men tend to just say what enters their heads without passing it through a filter.If you draw out a position that is different from yours right off the bat, you might completely discount the person. It prompts interesting discussions and opens our eyes to multiple sides of an issue, so keep your convo light and fun at the beginning. It can be understandable in person when they get their wires crossed and trip over their tongue. When I am instructing my male clients, I tell them to imagine they are talking to their sister or grandmother at first. The flirting can come later after you’ve had a few emails or calls.However, a lot of people aren’t using online dating to their best benefit.One of my recent female clients had only two pictures up, and both were professional shots. It suggests that this is the best she could possibly look, and, in fact, she might be much less attractive.Online dating, like anything else, has some etiquette rules everyone should follow.It always amazes me how much people willingly disguise who they are online.We’re all saying these things because we think that’s what others want to hear, but the more you disguise yourself, the less chance you have of finding someone who’s totally into what you are into.Author Laura Zinn opines, and I agree, “Be exactly who you are, though this means you’ll get rejected.” That is, until the person who loves everything about you comes along!Then he responds, and you jump right into a textual relationship.What are the chances you’ll actually meet in real life? I know talking on the phone is soooooo last century, but we’re all about making sacrifices to achieve a heart’s desire.